An Enemy's Return: Evil with an Appetite-
by Nephele
Summary: First off, this is not a vampire story. Secondly- it's a parody of Janus's An Enemy Returns... Please R&R! I think it's funny, Ganon the cook!


~First off, I don't own this game, thus I don't own any of the characters. Go figure… In fact, I don't even own this story; I stole it from my brother, Janus. ( Well, he let me spoof it. I invite you to relax, pull up a chair, as the Internet proudly presents…~  
  
An Enemy's Return: Evil with an Appetite-  
  
~Oh wait I forgot!!! Janus owns Richard, John, Duncan, and Knil. Ask him if you'd like to borrow them. ( And the Goron Gummies belong to me. Bon appetit! ~  
  
Link removed the Master Sword from Ganon, the King of Evil. The monster stood and roared, waving its swords.  
  
"Six Sages, NOW!" Zelda yelled. The Sages created a gateway to the Evil Realm and casted Ganon into it.  
  
"YOU." he said, "CURSE YOU. ZELDA. CURSE YOU.. SAGES. CURSE YOU. LINK!" He made a promise that, as long as the Triforce of Power was in his hand, he would return.  
  
"Link, it's time for you to go and regain your lost life," Zelda sadly said. She lifted the Ocarina of Time, and sent Link back to the Temple of Time. Link put the Master Sword into the pedestal, and returned to his young, ten-year-old self.  
  
7 years later.  
  
"YOU. SHALL. BE.DESTROYED.YOU.WILL.NEVER. DEFEAT.ME." Everything was blurry. A fight. A fight was happening. Someone familiar, important, being shot with an arrow.  
  
Link woke up, breathing heavily.  
  
"It's just a dream," he reminded himself. He laid back down, and immediately jumped back up again. Who could sleep when there was yummy Goron Gummies in the kitchen? Link ran to his kitchen area of the tree house, and started to gobble up these delicious, yet nutritious snacks.  
  
"You're getting better, Zelda," King Harkinian told his daughter during fencing lessons. As the king started to nurse his wound, Link walked into the room.  
  
"Excuse me, your Majesty, but I need to talk to the Princess for a second."  
  
"Certainly." The king limped out of the room, calling for Impa to fix his leg.  
  
"Link, what's wrong?" Zelda asked, as she wiped her bloody sword on a towel.  
  
"I've been having a strange dream lately, where I hear Ganondork's voice. He keeps on threatening that we'll all be destroyed. Then, I see a battle being fought, and someone very important dying. I don't know who it is, though. Then, I have this sudden urge to eat Goron Gummies. I love those things."  
  
"Link, I have a bad feeling about this. That treat has entirely too much fat!"  
  
"So do I, Zelda."  
  
"HOLD THEM BACK! DON'T LET THE VILE KNAVES THROUGH!" the captain yelled. There was a large group of Stalfos attacking.  
  
"YOU DIRTY BRAGGARTS, I'LL- AAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!" one of the soldiers yelled while being stabbed.  
  
Link rode toward the battle on Epona. He had just gotten news about the fight and was riding as fast as he could. Unfortunately, all of the Stalfos were defeated right as he pulled up. Nevertheless, he attacked several of the Stalfos corpses, proceeding to hack them into small bits.  
  
"Thank you, Link. Many lives would've been lost if you hadn't have come," the captain said while rolling his eyes.  
  
"No thanks are necessary for the Hero of Time; I'm just doing my job," Link proclaimed as he looked at his handiwork. "Do we have any idea why those things attacked so suddenly?  
  
"Legend says that when those creatures attack like that, it is a warning that the King of Evil will rise again."  
  
"Oh, no, do I have to fight him again?" Link started to whine like a ten- year old as the soldiers quietly left one by one.  
  
Ganondork trudged across the desert sands. He had found the Death Sword that was in the Evil Realm, the realm that he had been trapped in for seven, long years. Ganon had been doing some heavy spring-cleaning, and had literally stumbled on it in an old closet. After mumbling some not so nice words about people leaving swords in places where they could be stepped on, Ganondork recognized the sword's identity. He then remembered that if somebody found the weapon, they would have the power to destroy the guard that guarded the exit. Since the guy was very old, (think Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade) Ganon got off easy and returned to Hyrule in a flash. Ganondork was going to Gerudo Fortress, and when he got there, he decided that he would take care of someone who betrayed him. You see, Ganon was psychic, and he knew about Nabooru's crush on Link. Yes, the Evil Realm hath no fury like Ganondork scorned. And then, it was lunchtime!  
  
Link was having another strange dream:  
  
"LINK, THIS IS RAURU. GANONDORF HAS RETURNED. ANOTHER WAR IS BREWING. YOU MUST RECOVER THE MASTER SWORD, AND DEFEAT GANONDORK ONCE AGAIN. THERE WILL BE MANY BATTLES, AND CLOSE FRIENDS WILL BECOME CASUALTIES OF WAR. I'M SORRY LINK, BUT THIS IS THE BURDEN OF BEING HERO OF TIME."  
  
Link woke up. He knew it was one o'clock in the morning (he was always good at telling time without looking at a sundial: if Link wasn't the H.O.T., he would have gone into fortune-telling), but he had to get the Master Sword before it was too late. He left Kokiri Forest, and played the Prelude of Light.  
  
Ganondork walked out of the room, putting his sword back into its sheath. It was always a shame when the second in command was a traitor and had to be removed. Now he would have to cook his own omelets…  
  
Link put away his Ocarina, then stepped into the large room. He clasped his hands on the Master Sword, and pulled it out of the pedestal. He suddenly felt like someone was behind him. He turned around, drawing his shield. Someone who looked like him, only with a black tunic, and fifty extra pounds, was there, sword and shield drawn.  
  
"Who are you!?" Link asked.  
  
"I am Knil, created by Ganondork to destroy you," he said. He waddled to the attack. Link blocked the attack, then tried to attack, but was only blocked. They continued to fight until Knil, who was out-of-breath, said, "We will meet again." There was a flash, and he was gone.  
  
Link was just about to leave the market, when he heard someone's voice.  
  
"Link, are you all right?" It was Zelda.  
  
"Zelda, why are you up this late?"  
  
"I usually take a walk when I can't sleep."  
  
"Why didn't you just play the ocarina?"  
  
At this point, Zelda completely lost her control. "Because I don't like waking others just because I can't sleep! Link, was that you playing the Prelude of Light this morning?" As Link blushed, Zelda calmed down and noticed Link's injury. "Link, you have a cut above your eye! What happened?"  
  
"Rauru contacted me." Zelda gasped and was about to say something when Link continued, "He told me to pull out the Master Sword; when I did, I was attacked by some fat copy of me named Knil, and he dropped this note during our fight."  
  
"What does it say?" Zelda asked while trying to read over Link's shoulder  
  
"It says:  
  
'REMEMBER, THE PLAN IS TO DESTROY THE SIX SAGES, LINK, AND ZELDA. THEN, GO TO THE MARKET AND TAKE EGGS, CHEESE, TOMATOES, AND SPINACH.'"  
  
"It seems the plan is already underway."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I can just sense it that Nabooru has already died. (Wow- Zelda has the 6th sense too) Also, I can smell the cheese."  
  
"We've got to talk to the other Sages."  
  
"Listen, you've all got to go into hiding!" Link said to the Sages. "You've probably noticed that Nabooru is not here."  
  
"Well, not really since I was looking at Darunia," Saria realized what she had just admitted and quickly continued to say, "Link, what in the world's going on?"  
  
"Ganondork is back. He's gathering his followers, and is planning to destroy all of us. And then, he's having a feast."  
  
"So the legend of the Death Sword is true," Rauru said.  
  
"I wish I'd known that," Darunia replied before he stepped into a large shadow.  
  
"You'll have to do everything within your power to stay alive," Zelda said, "Ganondork's power is frightening. He's even created a copy of Link!"  
  
"Both are very dangerous," Link warned, "I'm counting on all of you to protect yourselves from them. Except, my clone is rather fatter," Link admitted while looking at his growing stomach.  
  
THE NEXT NIGHT  
  
Link was riding on Epona, going towards Lon Lon Ranch. Hylian soldiers had to hold off a group of Stalfos. Smoke was coming from the ranch. Link feared the worst for Malon, Ingo, and Talon. He arrived at the fight. He got off Epona. There were seven Stalfos attacking.  
  
"You decomposing heap!" he said to one of the Stalfos. He defeated the skeleton, and saw down by the corral, a figure that looked just like him, yet fatter, drawing his sword. He saw Malon trying to get away. Link ran towards them. He swung at Knil, who blocked his blow, and made an attempt to stab. Link jumped away, and did a jump attack. He was blocked, though he kicked Knil in the stomach. Knil returned with a powerful punch to Link's face that left him seeing stars for a few seconds. That was all that Knil needed. He threw Malon to the ground, raised his sword above his head, and swung it down. The Stalfos were all destroyed. He threw a Deku Nut, and disappeared. Link ran to Malon's body.  
  
"Malon! Answer me!" There wasn't an answer. "Malon, no! Please. you can't be." Knil was going to pay. Nabooru, Malon, Talon, and Ingo had fallen. Link then remembered that Knil and Ganondork were colleagues. (Well duh Link!) It was Ganondork's fault for creating the clone. They would both have to be stopped, before any more of his closest friends were dead. Or even his not so close friends….  
  
One month later.  
  
"Master, what are you doing?" Knil asked Ganondork.  
  
"I'm going to reopen the Evil Realm and release those who followed me. But right now I'm trying to create the perfect recipe for chili."  
  
"That should help out on slaughtering the Sages and that Hylian. Also, the plan is proceeding perfectly. But when's lunch?"  
  
"Patience, patience," Ganon murmured while rubbing his stomach.  
  
A week later.  
  
Soldiers flooded the castle halls. Lizalfos were approaching the castle. Link was going with everyone to defend the castle. He proceeded down the corridor.  
  
"Duncan! Watch your back!" Link yelled. The lizards had attacked. "Don't let your guard down!"  
  
"KNAVES! DON'T GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO ATTACK!" Richard Steffans, the captain, yelled.  
  
Link knelt down, charged his sword, and spun around. Five Lizalfos fell. Just ten to go.  
  
"Everybody get down!" he yelled, and began to cast Din's Fire. Eight of the lizards, which were too stupid to duck, slumped to the ground. Just two to go. The soldiers could handle that. The Hero of Time had done his work once again without getting dirty. He turned to go home, when he felt an unwelcome presence. He turned around to find Knil.  
  
"It appears we meet again." Knil said.  
  
"Knil, this ends here!" Link swung at Knil, but was blocked by Knil's stomach.  
  
"You may want to work on your swordplay!" Knil laughed. He made a series of blows at Link. Link evaded each attack, and struck back. They were right next to the moat. Link kicked him in. He drew an ice arrow, and fired. It hit. Suddenly, Knil's body disappeared. An evil laugh filled the air. Knil was still alive.  
  
Link was in a very strange area. It looked like a vortex of colors. Everything was in slow motion. There were two figures ahead. Knil and Zelda, but something was wrong. He then saw that Zelda's body was lifeless. Knil drew an arrow, and fired at Link.  
  
"NOOOOOO!" he yelled. The arrow hit him in the chest.  
  
"AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!" he cried in pain.  
  
He woke up. It had been another nightmare. He wiped his brow. He got up and went through the Lost Woods. He made it to the Sacred Forest Meadow. Saria was already there.  
  
"Saria, what are you doing up this late?" he asked.  
  
"What about you?"  
  
"I asked first!"  
  
"Well, I. just had a. uh. an uncomfortable dream."  
  
"I understand," Link said sympathetically. "Was it about me?  
  
"NO!!!! Well. I'd really rather not say."  
  
"I understand," Link smiled and congratulated himself on his suave handling of females.  
  
"You always do." Saria smiled shyly, and then frowned again. "Link, how do you feel about the war?"  
  
"I want it to end; we all do. But not until I kill Knil. Then the war can end."  
  
"That's how I feel. I hate it. Friends are dying. Link, I'm so frightened by what may happen. I fear this forest will be destroyed."  
  
"Don't worry! The forest won't get destroyed. No matter what happens."  
  
"How can you be so sure?"  
  
"Well, I built a wall, Saria. Our friends may die. Heck! You may die, but the trees will be safe."  
  
"You promise?" Saria looked up at him with her eyes shining and hopeful.  
  
"I promise." Link replied as he squeezed her hand and turned back to look at the trees.  
  
Link looked around. It was his shift on being the watch guard. Nothing had happened so far. He was on one of the towers of the castle. A few times he thought he saw something, but it would turn out to be a dog or something. He yawned and stretched. It was one o'clock in the morning and his shift would end in thirty minutes! He took another look around. Nothing. Just a couple of dogs playing poker. He thought of what had happened during the war. Memories of friends came rushing back. For some reason, gambling pooches always reminded him of his many feminine admirers. It was a good thing that he wasn't lost in thought for long because a Mad Scrub appeared. Link waved at the little fellow who was skipping along so merrily and sat back in his chair. Suddenly he stood up again. Link knew that a scrub wouldn't come all alone unless. He grabbed the horn that was lying at his side and blew into it. Scrubs appeared everywhere. Several sleepy soldiers wearing various versions of sleeping attire ran out the front gateway, while archers with flaming arrows appeared at the towers. The portcullis came down, and the drawbridge was raised. (as all good little castles should be at night with Ganondork and his followers on the loose!) Link readied his bow, and fired Fire Arrows at the scrubs. Soon, they were all gone. But then, a large group of Poes, (think Teletubbies!) started hovering towards the castle. They were no threat until they grouped together and made one giant ghost. It was 20 feet in height and length, and its torch had a white flame, which burnt twenty guards to a crisp. Link began using Ice Arrows, but they had no effect. They would just have to use normal arrows. The flame shot toward the east tower, hit it, and one of the vassals fell out as a burning heap.  
  
"Hit it with everything you've got, you knaves!" Richard yelled. As the idiotic, yet obedient guards started attacking the poor charred remains of the vassal, Link watched comfortably in his seat until the flame fired again, this time nearly hitting Link!  
  
"Whoa!" he yelled. The ghost began a transformation sequence. It turned into a giant Redhead. All of the guards started to snicker, while it blushed and turned into a giant Redead. Then, it grabbed guards and slowly sucked their life out. Link thought quickly, trying to remember its weakness. And then…  
  
WE NOW BRING YOU A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR!! (Little rock dudes start dancing around holding onto oversized candies) GORON GUMMIES ARE YUMMY IN OUR TUMMIES! WE LOVE GORON GUMMIES! (Then Darunia appears, and is holding a package of the product) NOT ONLY ARE THEY DELICIOUS; THEY'RE ALSO NUTRITOUS! (Darunia pops a handful in his mouth and grimaces) GIVE THEM TO ALL YOUR LITTLE GORONS! (Darunia quickly leaves the soundstage to throw up). AND WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR SHOW!  
  
He pulled out his ocarina, and began to play the Sun's Song. It froze stiff, covered with a translucent white plaster. The guards on the ground that weren't sleeping, grabbed torches and burned the parasitic zombie to a crisp.  
  
"I just don't get it. Why hasn't Knil appeared? It's not like I want him to come, it's just that it worries me."  
  
"What?" Zelda looked up quickly from Link's hair that she was braiding without his knowledge.  
  
"That I know he's out there but I don't know what he's doing." It was 3:30 AM, two and a half hours after the attack. Link and Zelda were sitting on the hill near the first gate, discussing what was going on. Zelda had gotten out of the castle like she usually did- transforming herself into a guy, namely, Sheik.  
  
" I feel like I should be out helping with the battles."  
  
"Zelda, you know they wouldn't let you do that. You could be seriously injured."  
  
"So could you!"  
  
"I know I could. I'm sorry, but I've had more practice with this type of thing."  
  
"I know. It's just that I feel I'm not doing anything to help," Zelda said before she turned to mutter about being the best darn fighter she knew and while wearing high heels.  
  
"You're the one that's helping keep the kingdom together!"  
  
"I guess so, but. I. I'm just worried about everyone. The Sages, my father. you."  
  
"Don't worry about me baby, I'm the Hero of Time! Just do what you can. You're the leader of the Sages, surely that can help."  
  
"Oh." She embraced Link.  
  
"Don't worry," he said, putting his arm around her, "We'll be all right. all of us." He wasn't quite sure if he was telling the truth, but he didn't let that stop him from hugging Zelda.  
  
"WHAT!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT DIDN'T WORK!?" Ganondork yelled at one of his followers.  
  
"But I. I didn't know. I." he stammered.  
  
"You know what this means. Guards! There's someone here who would love being a Stalfo!"  
  
"NO! PLEASE!" He was carried off.  
  
"That knave thought that would work? The imbecile." Ganondork muttered to himself. "I told him that you couldn't fry chocolate chip cookies. You have to bake them…"  
  
"We are to protect as many commoners as we can, and get rid of the attack. Mount your horses and get to the village immediately. You are dismissed," King Harkinian said. Link proceeded down the hall.  
  
Kakariko Village was on fire. People were running, trying to make it to the castle. Link stabbed a follower of Ganondork. All of the captains charged the enemy, protecting the villagers and helping the young, old, and the weak to escape. All of the middle-aged strong people were left to manage on their own. Link sunk his blade deep into the followers, while making sure none of the peasants got hurt. (He's not only intuitive, he also is multi-talented) Some followers were surrounding him, begging for autographs. He focused on Din, the goddess of power, making her ability's his own. He cast her blazing hot fire at those surrounding him. They all fell to the ground. "Fools," Link laughed. "They should know I never give autographs. Then people would think I was egotistical."  
  
Someone snuck up behind him with a dagger. Link turned around and got slashed above the right eye. (Hey wait! Isn't that where Knil injured him?) He swung his sword into the enemy's shoulder. This was hard to do with one eye out of commission. The opponents fled to Hyrule Plains, followed by the Hylian army. Catapults were there in case this happened.  
  
"Fire!" The king ordered. Flaming rocks flew in the sky, burning small enemy groups. There was a fifty-yard space between the two armies. Someone slashed him on the right arm, but Link slashed him across the chest. Link recognized this battle. His dream. Everything was the way he had seen it, only clearer. He noticed an enormous black tunic to the left side of the battlefield. Knil. His bow was drawn. But he wasn't aiming at Link.  
  
"AAAAAAAA!" King Harkinian yelled in pain and fell of his horse onto the ground. The arrow had gone straight through his armor and pierced his heart. That's when Link decided he would get everyone to start wearing armor made out of something stronger than leather. Something like steel like all of their opponents were wearing.  
  
"Nooo!" Link ran to his king's side.  
  
"Link." the dying king weakly whispered, as he sat up a little.  
  
"Yes, your Majesty?"  
  
"Watch over my daughter. Tell her, 'I love you.'" Link, obviously grossed out, started to complain but the king then slumped back onto the ground. His eyes kept open, staring at Link. He was dead. Link looked up, but Knil was gone. (He's fast for a large guy, huh?) He closed Harkinian's eyes. Link got up and raised his sword. He charged the enemy along with the other soldiers. A captain attempted to kill Link. Link parried the blow, and returned with a vertical slice. It was blocked with a shield; Link quickly evaded the stab. The captain made many attempts to destroy Link, but Link parried all the blows, and eventually stabbed the enemy, who fell to the ground. Link fired a Light Arrow into the air. It came down, and destroyed a very large group of men. Catapults fired, taking out half of the remainders. They ran towards Gerudo Valley. The Hylian Army pursued them. The enemy ran across the bridge and cut it. There was another group of Ganondork's followers ready for this. They all drew bows. The Hylians raised their shields. A large group of them were shot on the side. Link realized that those men had been the archers. He was the only one with a bow. Retreat filled the minds of the majority of the soldiers. Just then, the enemy's back row fell to the ground. A large group of rebel Gerudo was there.  
  
"For the death of Queen Nabooru!" one of them yelled. Just then, more Hylian archers arrived. The enemy was surrounded. The only chance of escape was the river. The captains that were still alive jumped into it. A few were shot down in midair. The rest of the followers were dead.  
  
The enemy swam down the river, making it to Lake Hylia.  
  
"We were lucky, weren't we?" one of them asked.  
  
"Not anymore." a mysterious voice said. They looked up. A group of Hylians was there. The captain was speaking. "Thought you could escape, eh? Well, you just-" Ganondork appeared.  
  
"So, Ganondork, you decide to show up when there are few of us, you coward!" Ganondork used his Triforce of Power. A purple light surrounded the captain, and he was lifted into the air, screaming in pain. The light disappeared, and he fell to the ground, breathing heavily.  
  
"I would normally have slaughtered all of you, but I have seen your skill. I think that you would enjoy being Stalfos." A few of the Hylians tried to escape, but the same purple light surrounded them, and they were pulled back, screaming in pain. "I'll send you to my domain."  
  
"NOOO!" they all pleaded, but they all turned completely white, and disappeared.  
  
"Oh, thank you, great Ganondork!" the followers all said.  
  
"Enough! You were all cowardly enough to try to escape, so I should kill you. BUT there still is the fact that you revealed the location of the rebel Gerudo. And I hate killing right before dinner; it ruins the palate. Let's return to the hideout- I made hamburgers out of the Lon Lon cows."  
  
The followers all cheered and rushed through the portal that Ganondork had created.  
  
The battle had been won. But there was one thing that Link still had to do. Link approached the closed door of Zelda's room. He took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.  
  
"Zelda? It's me," he told her. She opened the door.  
  
"Link! You're ba- what's wrong?" she asked.  
  
"Zelda. your father." He didn't have to complete his sentence for Zelda to know what had happened.  
  
"No!" she yelled. Link hugged Zelda to comfort her. She hugged him back, sobbing into his tunic.  
  
"I'm sorry." he whispered, "I am so. sorry."  
  
"And here we put to rest the great King Harkinian; amen," a preacher said. The body was set to sea; an archer fired a flaming arrow, burning Harkinian's body. Zelda was crying; Link put a comforting arm around her, grateful that he could support her still. The rest of the Sages were there, mourning for the fallen king. Harkinian's death added a whole new purpose to fight Ganondork. He would not get away with this; the King would be avenged.  
  
Link stood outside Zelda's room. Impa was in there, comforting Zelda. Link kept on reliving in his mind the dying plea of the king, when he put his hand on his hair. "What the heck is this?" he yelled while trying to undo the intricate braid that Zelda had made.  
  
"Link. come with me." It was Richard. Link followed him down the hall. "Link, I'm sorry about what happened." Link had his back towards him.  
  
"How long did you know about this? I swear I'll. . .Oh! I know. I just can't stop thinking of it and all the pain Zelda is going through." Link heard the faint sound of Richard drawing his sword. Right when he swung, Link dove out of the way, drew his sword, and swung down at Richard's head. He parried it.  
  
"What are you doing!?" he asked.  
  
"You fool. You thought that we were on your side the whole time!" He swung and was parried.  
  
"IMPA! GET ZELDA OUT OF HERE!" Link yelled while parrying the constant blows. He kicked Richard to the ground. Impa and Zelda came out the room.  
  
"Richard's one of the them!" Link yelled. Richard got to his feet. Impa threw the dagger that she had conveniently carried out into the hall at him. It got him in the middle of his torso, causing him to fall to the ground. As Link, Zelda, and Impa ran down the hall, Zelda changed into Sheik. Some guards opposed them, but were easily taken down. They got to the stables. Zelda and Impa got onto their white horse, Lylett, while Link mounted Epona. They rode out, staying low as arrows were shot at them. When they reached the market, the horses jumped on some stalls, and jumped over the wall, barely making it over the moat. They rode to the Kokiri Forest. After all, with its wall, it was the only safe place nearby.  
  
"The mission was accomplished, my liege. King Harkinian is dead. But Link, Zelda, and Impa escaped," Knil reported.  
  
"Pity. But, I guess this means that I'll get to kill Zelda myself. You should be able to destroy Link," Ganondork said.  
  
"What are my next orders?"  
  
"They are to buy me some Goron Gummies. Then we'll talk."  
  
"We can hide you two here. I'm sure that Saria would be more than happy to lend you her house," Link informed Zelda and Impa.  
  
"Thank you, Link," Impa said.  
  
"Yes, thank you," Zelda also said.  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
One week later.  
  
Zora's Domain was in ruins. All the Zoras were slaughtered, including the Sage, Ruto. The Zoras had put up a fight, but the followers had torches and swords, so the Zoras didn't stand a chance. (Is it just me, or does this not make sense? If the Zoras live in the water, how can the fire reach them without being extinguished? You put out fires with water. Maybe they were all boiled! Tartar sauce, anyone?) Knil stood over Ruto's corpse, smiling. "You fools. You can't beat Ganondork. You can't even squash a bug without putting up the fight of your life." He laughed and snorted before stepping into a mystical portal.  
  
"Stay quiet," John Parkins whispered.  
  
"Right," Duncan Kapsen replied. They were sneaking into Kokiri Forest, specifically Saria's house. (Great wall you built Link!) They raised their clubs, and knocked out Zelda. They took daggers and stabbed Impa and Saria. They stuck a note into the wall that Link built. They took Zelda out of the forest. Everything was according to plan.  
  
Link went into Saria's house. Saria would've woken up by now. He walked in and stopped. Impa and Saria were motionless with daggers in their backs. Zelda was nowhere to be found.  
  
"No. NO!" he yelled. He removed the knives, and noticed a note on his wall. It read:  
  
You can't win, you knave. First Zelda, then you.  
  
He'll stop at nothing. He's gone too far. Harkinian, Nabooru, Malon, Talon, Ingo, Impa, Saria. all dead because of him! Him and that ugly copy of myself. We will end this today. Link thought.  
  
"Get in there!" a guard commanded, throwing Zelda into a cell. He threw her onto a giant foam pad and shoved a couple of mattresses on top of her, with only her head uncovered. She could breathe, but hardly. She tried to move, but couldn't. The guard hit her with a pillow a couple of times. "That should teach you," he said, "Oh, and by the way." He put some food and water on top of the stack of mattresses, about a foot above Zelda, "See if you can get it." He hit her one more time, and left. As much as she tried, Zelda couldn't get the food. And it smelled good too. Looked like Ganon had created the perfect chili recipe.  
  
The rebellious Gerudo were all tied to stakes. Ganondork smirked at all of them.  
  
"You imbeciles were foolish enough to betray me." he said.  
  
"YOU were the one who betrayed US, Ganondork. We know that you killed Nabooru," one of the Gerudo spoke. Ganondork punched her across the face.  
  
"Perhaps you would like to join her. Then I shall make it so."  
  
"With you Ganondork, there are worse fates than death. Like your cooking!"  
  
"I'll think some up for your friends. in fact, I'll make them my servants. But first, I'll fulfill your request." He untied her and handed her a sword. He pulled out the Death Sword. "You know what this is? It's the sword that killed Nabooru." Ganondork swung his sword, but the Gerudo parried it and returned with a horizontal blow. She was blocked, and was barely missed by the blade. Ganondork swung again, but his enemy did a back flip and tried to slice down on his head, but stopped abruptly. Ganondork's blade had sunk into her stomach.  
  
"Just so you know. this was how Nabooru died. But there is one thing missing. You'll know what it is soon enough." He withdrew his blade as she fell to the ground. He turned to the other Gerudo. He raised his hand, the Triforce symbol glowing, and shot magic onto all of them. They were all white for a second, and then the light subsided. They all looked up. Their eyes were all red and full of evil. Knil and the other men slashed the ropes that held the Gerudo.  
  
"Knil," Ganondork said, "Begin the attack on the Gorons."  
  
"Yes, Master." He and the rest left. Ganondork looked at the dying Gerudo that was still on the ground. "Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you. I never forget people who insult my cooking." He snapped his fingers. Two Wolfos charged. Ganondork teleported to his hideout. The two Wolfos were getting closer. There was a flash, and one of them dropped. Link sliced the other one's back. It fell to the ground.  
  
"You. you're the legendary Hero of Time, am I right?"  
  
"Yes. But I don't give autographs, or pictures. But here, I've got some Red Potion, so-"  
  
"There's no time! They're going to attack the Gorons! Please, Ganondork killed Nabooru. He tried to kill me, and made the others his servants. You have to stop him. We helped the Hylians, so please, help. us." Her eyes closed. Link sat silently for a moment, out of respect, and got up. He didn't like to leave the body lying there, but he had to get to Death Mountain.  
  
The Gorons got the drop on the enemy army. They were pounding them, not giving them the chance to attack. Link stood, facing Knil.  
  
"If you want a fight," Knil said, "Follow me." Link chased him slowly to the rim of Death Mountain's crater. The rim was wide enough to stand on, but was hard to stay balanced.  
  
"Now, Link, we finish this." Knil swung from the right side; Link parried it, and returned the blow from the top, only to be blocked. Link and Knil fiercely swung their shining blades at each other. They continued their desperate battle, both wanting to end the other's life, but Link eventually blocked Knil and kicked him in his left side. He slashed Knil across the back. Knil yelled out in pain, and fell into the crater.  
  
"NOOOOO!" he yelled, plummeting to his death. He landed; Link could see Knil's hand slowly sink into the fiery pit.  
  
"Hmm. Your friend is strong, Highness. He will be a formidable opponent," Ganondork said.  
  
"He'll rip your dirty head off!" Zelda yelled. Ganondork lifted off the mattresses and grabbed Zelda's neck. She was gasping for breath.  
  
"If you do not keep your mouth shut, then Link will come and find out that it's too late to save what he came to rescue!" He squeezed harder. Zelda started to lose the feeling in her arms. Her cheeks were starting to turn blue. "Is that clear?" he asked, grabbing even harder. Zelda didn't have the strength to nod. She felt her life slowly leaving her. Ganondork let go and put the mattresses back on. "Consider this a warning," he announced as he sat on top of the mattresses. Her nose was starting to bleed. She had bleeding cuts on her forehead. There were painful bruises where Ganon's weight was. Ganondork kicked the glass of water over and ate the food. "I am such a good cook. Don't you agree?" Ganon looked down at the princess, and frowned at her look of incoherence. "Next time, it'll be Knil sitting on you. Understand?" He smirked at Zelda and left. Zelda, from extreme pain and hunger, blacked out.  
  
Link quickly focused his power on Farore's piece of the Triforce, the Triforce of Courage. Knil was almost out of sight. He read the almost- deceased mind, and knew where Ganondork was hidden. He focused again. An unearthly wind was cast upon him, (too much chili for Ganondork), and he was blown to a dark, dungeon like area, with a brightly lit kitchen. Ganondork's hideout. The Triforce began to surge. There were two other bearers of the Triforce here. He drew his sword and shield, and cautiously walked down the hall. A guard charged him. Link held out his sword. The guard ran right into it. He fell to the ground. Link continued. He slew all the guards that opposed him. He was right outside Zelda's cell. He took the keys from the dead guard, and unlocked the cell. He ran inside and lifted off all of the mattresses. He caught her as she rolled off onto the ground.  
  
"Link." she weakly whispered. She had lost almost all of her energy. There were cuts on her head as well as the spots that had been directly under Ganon. There was a handprint on Zelda's neck where Ganondork had grabbed her. They heard a laugh from behind them. Link turned around. Ganondork. They were transported to a dark, floating island... Link gently set down Zelda, and drew his sword. Ganondork drew his.  
  
"I see you've made it this far only to be defeated by me," Ganondork smirked.  
  
"To bury you."  
  
"Well, to bury one of us." Ganondork attacked. Link blocked and returned with a blow to the right side. Block. Ganondork put all his strength into his arm and struck down towards Link's head. Link blocked, but fell to the ground because of the force of the blow. He quickly rolled back and got to his feet. Ganondork did a horizontal blow; Link ducked and dove out of the way. He quickly moved behind Ganondork, but he grabbed Link and threw him to the ground. He cut Link's right arm.  
  
"Aaugh!" Link groaned in pain. Ganondork was about to stab Link, but Link jumped up and gave him a quick slice in the chest. Ganondork bent down in pain. Link was just about to make the deathblow when Ganondork grabbed him by the neck and held him off the ground.  
  
"Take your time and die. I can wait," he said. Suddenly, a blast of magic hit Ganondork's hand. The force of the blow was strong enough that Ganondork lost his grip, but it sent Link flying off the island. (Doesn't Zelda have a great strategy? Hit your friend in hopes that he'll go flying, but not die?) He stuck his sword into the side to break his fall, and began the climb back up.  
  
Zelda fell to the ground. She had used all her energy that was left to blast Ganondork's hand, and thus Link with magic. Whimpering with pain, Ganondork held his uninjured hand high above himself and charged his multi- shot attack. Zelda was hit and flying through the air just as Link got back up.  
  
Link ducked, and then waved a quick thank you in Zelda's general direction as he ran towards Ganondork, yelling. "My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father; prepare to die!" He swung at the confused Ganondork, who parried it and attempted to slice down on Link's head. Link back flipped and made many attempts to hit his enemy. The Gerudo King quickly parried all of Link's blows, and swung as hard as he could. Link dodged the blow and swung at Ganondork, barely missing his back. Ganondork attempted to decapitate Link. Link ducked, and was about to make a hit when Ganondork punched Link straight in the face. He fell to the ground and dropped his sword, blood trailing out of his nostrils. Ganondork grabbed Link, and threw him down on the ground as hard as he could. The weakened Link tried to get up, but Ganondork grabbed him by his shirt and held him over the edge. There were sharp rocks after the hundred-yard fall.  
  
(sounds like the perfect place to have a fight doesn't it? All we need is menacing music in the background, and voila! Instant rear-kicking atmosphere!)  
  
"No." Zelda sobbed.  
  
"Look closely, Princess. This is the last time you'll ever see him again." Ganondork turned his head toward Link. "Now, legendary Hero of Time. you will die. But first, how do you stay so clean whenever we fight? I always have dirt and blood all over me. Have you ever tried to find detergent in the Evil Realm? Most of the guards laughed at me, when I made my request. Thank heavens that I found that quaint little shop."  
  
"It's a secret!" Link yelled as he pressed the back of his hand against Ganondork's right hand. A flash appeared from the hands. Link had gotten the Triforce of Power. He kicked Ganondork straight in the chest. Ganondork fell back, throwing Link back at the same time. Link got to his feet and raised his sword.  
  
"Nooo!" Ganondork yelled. The Master Sword began to glow. Ganondork held up the Death Sword in order to block Link's blow. Link struck the sword with the strength of a thousand men. The Death Sword flew from Ganondork's hand and flew off the cliff.  
  
"Nooo! I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED! AND YOU WILL TELL ME HOW YOU KEEP YOUR CLOTHES CLEAN!" Ganondork cried. Link thrust the Master Sword into Ganondork's heart. The end of the blade was sticking out his back.  
  
Ganondork gasped, his eyes glaring at Link. Link withdrew the sword, and Ganondork fell to the ground. His breathing stopped and his eyes rolled back into his head. Link dropped his sword to the ground, and ran to Zelda. He slightly picked her up.  
  
"Zelda, answer me!" he said softly.  
  
"Link. I."  
  
"Shh, save your strength. Are you all right?"  
  
"I'll. be fine. eventually."  
  
"I'm so sorry for what's happened to you."  
  
"Link. it wasn't your fault. You were asleep when they came."  
  
Link sighed as he held her closer. They kissed each other. "Zelda, I don't know how to say this but, your father."  
  
"My father what?"  
  
"Your father loved me!" Link blurted out while trying not to blush.  
  
"I understand what he meant."  
  
"You do? Can you help me? Because I don't like the idea of"  
  
"Shh," Zelda held out the Triforce of Wisdom. "Take this." she said.  
  
Link slowly took it from her. Everything changed. He was pulled into a twirling vortex. He was brought to an area where Triforce shapes were constantly moving upward. The sky was gold instead of blue.  
  
"Link." a feminine voice said.  
  
"Link, the Chosen One." another feminine voice said. The three goddesses appeared. They all looked like they were in their early twenties. Link could always tell a woman's age. It's all part of being the Hero of Time, like his ability to notice details. For example Din had fiery red hair. She had golden eyes and was wearing a red gown. Nayru had sapphire blue eyes with golden hair, and wore a blue gown. Farore had emerald green eyes and brown hair, and a green gown. This is important in your life! Remember it!  
  
"Link," Din said, "Thou hast destroyed the evil that once choked the land."  
  
"Princess Zelda and thyself must protect the Triforce from others who wish to seek it," Nayru commanded.  
  
"Now, Link," Farore softly said, "Makest a wish in thy heart, and it shall be granted." Link focused on his wish. He knew of many things that he wanted, including food, but decided to use this chance for the people of Hyrule. His stomach could wait, he guessed. The image of the goddesses faded away, as well as the area he was in.  
  
"Link. Link, wake up," a comforting voice said. Link woke up to see Zelda. Her cuts were gone as well as his. The were at Lake Hylia  
  
"Zelda?"  
  
"Yes, it's me."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"When I gave you the Triforce, you disappeared and I fell asleep. When I woke up, we were on Lake Hylia."  
  
"What else?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Is the war finished?"  
  
"Yes, Link. It is. Hyrule is safe again because of you."  
  
"No. You helped. I would've died if it hadn't been for you. Thank you," He stood up, "Let's go home; I have a sudden craving for Goron Gummies." He pulled out the Ocarina and called Epona. They mounted her, and returned to the castle.  
  
Afterward.  
  
Everything returned to normal on account of the Hero of Time's wish. The king was back. So were Nabooru, Ruto, Impa, Saria, Malon, Talon, and Ingo were back as well. Everyone who had died and was not a follower of Ganondork had returned. All the followers that were found were arrested.  
  
"John, I found it!"  
  
"Careful now, Duncan. Don't slip."  
  
"Ow! I'm all right! I got it!" Duncan held the Death Sword above his head.  
  
"All right. He'll want it when he returns. It's a pity that it takes two years to make the revival potion."  
  
"Yes, almost as long as a truly great Hawaiian pork roast."  
  
THE END (or is it?)  
  
~ Did you like it? Hate it? Please review! I can't create more magic without inspiration! Oh, and remember to eat your Goron Gummies! ~ 


End file.
